Day 6 was active recovery. I went to Jazzercise, and although it was hot in the studio, we hit the top of the Perceived Exertion curve and I was like, "What..is that it?!".
So I'm wondering if 4 days of strength training under my belt are making me better able to handle workouts that require endurance. Or maybe it was my body's gift to myself because I was in for a few more gut checks today.
The PN-certified nutritionist called me to come back out because last night, when we tried to use the calipers to get my stomach fat, we couldn't. I can't remember if I blogged about this or not. But essentially, too much fat on my bellybelly meant that she couldn't pull the fat away from the muscle to get an accurate reading. She was able to this morning. Punched in the numbers. Loaded all my measurements. Re-did my photos. And realized that about 92.5 lbs of my body are made up of fat right now. My body mass index puts me well into the morbidly obese category. The BMI was not news to me. I saw that last year when, at the age of 34, I had to have a stupid stress test b/c we couldn't figure out if I was having heart issues when I couldn't breathe well last year. What sucker punched me was that my fat is making up 92.5 lbs of the total body weight I'm carrying. Fuck that.
Then I was able to get into an online meeting with my coach and she was able to share some excellent insights about the things we say to ourselves when we view ourselves. And the reality that most people around us don't see ourselves the way we do. I know this. I have friends who love me no matter what. But I don't love me no matter what. I don't love me that this weight. I love me when I'm strong and killing workouts. I don't love me when I get scared, emotional or stubborn. So my take away was that I need to treat myself the same way I treat my special-needs kitty, BayBay. I dote on her; follow her around. I patiently wait for her to eat goodies. I love her after she's had her anti-seizure medication because she doesn't like it. I snuggle with her and tell her she's the most beautiful kitty in the land (along with her sissy, JiJi).
Just some thoughts. I spent the rest of the day napping and spinning on my spinning wheel. Onward to tomorrow with kindness.
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